I read a disturbing feature in yesterday’s New York Times about ‘sexting’ and its potential to cause harm.  

Here’s a quick summary: A 14-year-old girl texted a nude photo of herself to her boyfriend. Shortly after, they broke up and he kept the photo. A former friend of the girl who heard about the photo cajoled the boyfriend into sending it to her (the second teenager was angry at her friend at the time and wanted to hurt her). Once she had the image, she and another teenage girl sent it around with disparaging comments. It went viral and you can imagine the repercussions.  The police were called in and the boyfriend, former friend and other girl were charged with distributing child pornography. Those charges were dropped, but all lives were affected – especially that of the first girl, who has to live with the knowledge that her image remains online.

Of course, this isn’t the first nor will it be the last time a situation like this occurs. I’m troubled by it on two fronts.

First, as a parent. I wouldn’t want my kids sexting their own images or passing around other people’s photos with the intention of damaging someone’s reputation (who would?).  It’s more important than ever that we teach our children about judgment, discretion and just plain good sense.  We must be there to guide them and hope they heed our advice. But we can’t simply hover, we have to trust that we have given them the tools to understand how do the right thing. That’s part of growing up.

Second, as a communicator.  We live in an age when virtually everything we do and say can be documented, taken out of context and distributed far and wide.  As guardians of reputation, we need to develop and refine our internal filters and be vigilant about what we share and what we choose not to, whether online through social networks or even in an email.  Because it’s always harder to undo the damage.

Where do our private and public lives intersect? How much are we willing to share? Those are questions everyone should consider.  The onus is on each of us to determine our personal and professional comfort levels. And in a world where putting ourselves out there can be wonderful and fun, we have to ensure our default isn’t automatically preset to public where it could hurt others and ourselves.

I’m interested to hear what you think.

I’d also encourage you to check out Danah Boyd who has researched, written and spoken extensively on this topic for her insights and thoughts.

About Martin Waxman


Martin Waxman, MCM, is a digital communications strategist. He conducts AI research, leads digital and social media training workshops and speaks at events across North America. He's co-founder of two PR agencies, president of a consultancy and has worked in the industry for nearly 30 years. Martin is a LinkedIn Learning instructor, teaches digital strategy and social media at McMaster University, the Schulich School of Business, University of Toronto SCS and Seneca College. He's a member of the Institute for Public Relations Digital Media Research Center and a past-chair of PRSA Counselors Academy. He has a Master of Communications Management (MCM) from McMaster-Syracuse Universities.